This week, the Catch Family have been enjoying a holiday break at one of the beaches on the Sunshine Coast. Mr Catch has finally been able to bring the boat out of hibernation and is in hog heaven.
But, this holiday, the Catches wanted More.
Back in the Day, I used to waterski a lot. I didn't even get wet. This is how it's done.
1. Stroll into the shallows and fit one foot into the ski boot. Wave boat to go.
2. As boat accelerates and the slack in the rope is nearly gone, casually put your other foot on the back of the ski and lean back.
3. Cavort all over the river/lake
4. When you've had enough, do the above steps in reverse, step off your ski and return to where you left your glass of wine.
Twenty years later however, it's quite different.
1. Put on ginormous wetsuit pants. Wonder if they'll stay up at high speed.
2. Jump in, then nearly get decapitated by the skis following you.
3. Grapple with the surprisingly buoyant skis, trying to get your foot into the boots. Be reminded of the Crocodile Hunter wrestling crocs.
4. While waiting for the ski rope to come around, survey the murky water. Think of sharks. Get cold feet. Need a fair bit of persuasion to continue.
5. As the boat accelerates, ski pants fill with water. Resemble a wine barrel. Which, I may add, is a remarkably difficult shape to haul out of the water. Glare at family, wetting themselves in hilarity on the boat. Rise slightly, then sink slowly and irredeemably beneath the waves.
6. Repeat the above until arms fall off.
7. Tie ski pants up VERY tightly, in the hope of restricting water flow. Jump in.
8. Repeat steps 1 to 5 a few times.
9. Then do this.
10. Do a spectacular cartwheel to finish.
PS: There is not enough wine in the world to dull the pain in your arms and legs after waterskiing for the first time in twenty-plus years.
PPS Spongey life vests are such a LOOK. They make one resemble a beacon buoy. I've just no idea why they haven't caught on in everyday life. You?