The Catchland Christmas Sales. For a Limited Time Only

Here in Catchland, we are now super-organised.  After a slow start, festivities are off and running.  And true to form, I have managed to include a few ridiculous tasks that should be left for less frenetic times.

For instance, the house has just had a massive re-organisation.  You know the kind.  Where the lounge room becomes the dining area, the music room becomes the TV room, the art throughout is given a total re-hang, etc, etc.   Those of you with husbands like mine, who place furniture for life until death-do-they-part, will quiver with trepidation when I tell you I did it without getting the opinion of Mr Catch.  I cajoled my middle son to heave and haul household goods with me instead.  He coped beautifully and was just what was needed - a strong man with no opinion.

Don't worry. It all ended happily.  Mr Catch was converted to the arrangements when he saw them in the flesh.  And Catchland is a much happier place with the TV out of the conversation areas.

But now, I have another problem.  Moving stuff always highlights possessions that cause you angst.  I have discovered quite a few things that are more trouble than they are worth.

So, because I know you love a good bargain, we are having a Lot Sale at Catchland. One man's poison is another man's meat, after all.

Here are some of the items I will be putting up.  Maybe.  Probably.  Depending on what time of the day it is and how many children have been over to play.


1. One half-grown dog.  Loves Christmas.  Special talents include dragging tinsel off the tree and running outside with it.  Also eating expensive, new, one-of-a-kind Christmas ornaments before they have even been hung on the tree.  We'll generously throw in the decorative remains as well.  But, you may want to think twice about putting them on your tree.

2. A lot of laundry. Washed. Yet to be dried.   Free to a good home.

3. One faintly smelly, pre-pubescent boy.  Good whiner.  Bored, but very cute.  Free dimples included.   Willing to let go for cost price.  Which is, when I think about it, a great deal of money.  Never mind.

4. Cricket Balls.  Many, many cricket balls.  Guaranteed to thwack with loud regularity against the side fence.  Come with complimentary headache tablets.

5. Single thongs. No, I don't understand it either.  Perhaps the dog is eating their partners as a decoration chasers.  Any time we want to go out, everyone can only find one thong.  Maybe you'll find a match at your house.  Get back to me on that one.

6. Wii controllers.  The whole lot.  Arguing siblings an optional extra.

7. Large quantity of Lego.  Un-boxed.  Embed them in the soles of your feet for extra fun.

8. One fridge.  Quite empty.

9.  The Barbies.  Who can throw away something that cost so much?  Even if they are missing legs, and have hair like Medusa. For a small fee, they can live on your bench too.  Waiting for *someone* to fix them.

10. One, slightly-used Mother, wearing enormous cranky-pants.  Her volume has increased considerably since the start of the school summer holidays.  Try before you buy.  If you listen carefully, you can probably hear her half across town, at your house.

It's just a few things to start with.  No doubt, there'll be more items as the holidays go on.  Do you think I'll get any takers?

At least the tree is up and the shopping nearly finished (I'm a Girl Wonder - I did it in THREE DAYS). Tomorrow, I'm planning to regroup.  Do brunch, then some baking with the kids.  Does shortbread sound good?

How are the holidays going at your house?